Sharing past
by kude-e-musakata
Summary: While working on one of his clay birds, Deidara's been asked about his past in Iwa. Oneshot.


**So before I start, this is the first thing I've written in 4 years. The story just came to me while I was listening to stria - rise from the ashes. Also, about the girl in this story, I won't tell anything about her because I think there's no need to. The way I see her is more like his long-lost sister. Feel free to see her as whatever you want.**

 **Would love you forever if you review _**

"I wanted to ask you..."

She stopped and he looked at her.

"Yeah?"

"Why art?"

He looked sort of surprised.

"What do you mean, un?"

"I mean why cling to art? People cling to all sorts of things, friends, family... through I can see about the second, but what happened to your friends? I know you had, it's impossible not to."

"Because it doesn't last."

He simply answered

"Nothing does un. Life is fleeting like my art."

"And your friends? Brighten me a little, I wanna know."

"I grew up hanging out with a short bossy girl, named Kurotsuchi and her sort of naive older brother Akatsuchi. Through they are the obedient type, sometimes it was fun. When I was 10 we even stole the old geezer's hat un."

He started laughing while I smiled.

"What?"

"Yeah, and because they were his grandchildren we didn't really get in much trouble. There was also that one time I lost a bet to Kurotsuchi and had to pretend I am a girl who has a crush on Akatsuchi. I guess that was her way of revenging me for always blowing up her stuff un."

"That sounds fun, bro why did you leave? I mean, you had friends, it sounds like one of those 'meant to be' bonds we all had when we were little."

"Nah."

He looked at his clay bird again but started to work on the wings.

"They didn't accept my art un."

I was kinda surprised.

"But you were their friend? I mean, they could've at least tried to understand you."

"At first it was no big deal, I was eleven, Akatsuchi was 10 and Kurotsuchi was 8. I had found out about my kekkei genkai, it happened randomly while one of our fights. Kurotsuchi threw a water balloon at me while I was working on one of my first bats. The balloon didn't pop through because it landed on my bat. That angered me so much that when I took the balloon it exploded, and we were all wet. After a while I got assigned to the explosion unit, but they were all... boring and stupid un. Most of my commanders were so brainwashed that they became dull, which was the bad part. I kept telling them about how if we could find a way to get our chakra into objects and be a ranged unit we could become quite toxic un."

I laughed at the last part.

"But the more I told them, the more angry they got, so I just stopped. I knew if I want to get something done I should just go for it myself. So I started looking for information about chakra control, meditating, hell I even tried talking to the old geezer to at least try my idea and make a part of the unit ranged. He told me that I was a coward because I preferred long range fights."

His voice got serious.

"There was one last thing I hadn't check. I knew about the forbidden section and also how people were aware of my reputation as a rebel. If someone saw me near few meters or looking at the place for long time they would've told the Tsuchikage right away, so he could double the guards. I had one chance at this. I didn't even know what I was looking for un. By that time I started having a lot of fights with Kurotsuchi and Akatsuchi because they thought I might go insane, because they overlooked my art."

I saw how he began getting mad. His face became serious rather than chill, and he almost ripped a part of the wing he was working on.

"They told me how 'concerned' they were for my mental state and how I had to stop thinking about a way to get in the forbidden section. Kurotsuchi even called me a pyromaniac, whatever the hell that is."

"It's someone who loves fire and burning things..."

"I don't care un. They neglected my art and the moment came when I showed them that I was right."

"What did you do, bro?"

He smiled a bit and I noticed how his anger had disappeared.

"Well as you see, I successfully broke into the section and stole a kinjustu. I didn't have much time, it was lunch break. I figured that was the perfect moment because no one expects mid-day breaking-ins un. The moment I killed the guards to get in was the moment when I knew my days in Iwa were numbered. But I couldn't care less un. I broke in and had no idea where to start. Piles of books and scrolls were everywhere un. There was one big scroll with the name of the second tsuchikage, Mu. At first, I thought it was connected to the dust release but I wanted to make myself sure of that... which I'm glad I did."

He licked the bird with his right hand.

"Time was running out. I wasn't sure if I should do it but then again I couldn't find something better with the time I had left. It was now or... well not never for sure, but I'd have to wait another few years for my second chance un. I drew a circle and made the symbols with blood on the floor. Then I made the series of seals as they were. I thought I heard a noise from outside which made me panic for a second and go faster. Right after everything was over, I felt like my body was modified. That was when I saw the result on my chest and then on my arms. If that was the price I had to pay, be it. By now I sure heard voices form the other side of the door. A perfect way to test my new powers un."

I was a bit shocked but then again I knew why he did it.

"You really had a hard time being raised by monkeys with big attitude."

He laughed.

"Tell me about it un. The fight I pulled off was awesome. The shock on their faces, the fear... as my art was the last thing they saw. I had finally found the perfect art. The things I made were alive. But showing a few people wasn't enough for me. The whole village. It was soon going to become a part of my art. I made my way to the roof and made a giant bird, that's when I realized those things could become big and I could fly. A few minutes of figuring out how it works I was up in the air, making my first C3. Or at least the C3 is a better version of the thing I did back there. While being in the air I saw Kurotsuchi making her way to the building I was earlier. News spread fast un."

"And what did you do?"

"Well I couldn't destroy the whole village because I still didn't knew a lot about the kinjutsu yet and Oonoki wouldn't mind giving me a piece of mind his way. I threw a few bombs and flew away. Some days later I was in an abandoned shrine working on my art un. I started to take commissions to make explosions. Months later the Akatsuki found me. But it became like a little dream to me, destroying Iwa. Some day I'll go back and make it one with the ground."

"Sounds like you bear a lot of hatred for that place. It's probably gross."

"It is un. People wouldn't care about art even if it kicked them in the face."

"I used to be like that too but I get you now."

He looked at me.

"Bro, your art really is sublime."

In that moment, for a second, I saw how his eyes lightened up. Like a little happy child.

"And one day everyone's gonna know, un!"

"Okay, about that..."

The light disappeared.

"Look, don't get me wrong, I love your art bro, I love the idea of it, I think it's truly sublime, heck I would probably beat up anyone who neglects it or you. But not all people understand or care about art. It's because they have their own visions of it, which aren't always neglecting yours. Like me, I used to view people as they were art, because every person is unique. You can't help everyone, you can't get everyone to get into a certain thing. I don't think there exists anything that all the people in the world would agree that is beautiful."

He was looking into the nothing.

"Then I will make them, un."

I sighed

"Deidara, you're being stubborn. If you think for a second..."

"That's why I won't. I made you see it, didn't I?"

I couldn't say anything else. Was he mad? Damn right he was at least a bit.

"One day everyone will acknowledge my art!"

He turned to his bird again and continued as I stared at him. His passion was contagious. I went behind him and hugged him around the neck, shoving my head in his shoulder.

"I love you, bro."

There were a few moments of silence.

"I love you too, now go shopping or whatever it is you do when I'm not around, you're interrupting my art appreciation time, un."

I laughed and let him go.

Even if people thought he was a maniac he was a lot more logical than most of them.

"But you still didn't answer my question through."

"Why art?"

"Yes."

I sat next to him.

"Why do you love art?"

"Because I guess that's everything I have un."

He calmly stopped working on the bird and looked at it.

"The fact you were here and disappeared means you lived. The moment your life is over means you were alive. Being 'eternal', if it even exists, is not much different from being dead or even worse un."

I thought about his words. That was a weird but logical philosophy.

"I see your point bro. What made you think that? I mean, you sound fanatic."

"Because I'm right un."

He sat down.

"Like I said earlier, my childhood wasn't that bad, through it would probably be if I couldn't adapt the way I did. Growing up in Iwa most of the time means nothing good, even less if you're an orphan. Everyone is being taught to take responsibility from an early age, to suck up their emotions and move forward..."

As he continued his voice sounded colder.

"I was sick of everyone, from the kids to their parents and our teachers. They taught us how to 'suck it up' but none of them actually did. All they did was hide the pain and anger they felt, which resulted in malicious behavior towards their subordinates. Other kids used to pick on me a lot un. My break from everything was when I made sculptures out of mud."

"I can relate to that..."

"I know un. Then there was this night I still remember quite good, considering the fact that I barely remember details about my childhood. I had woken up because the moon was shining in my face, stupid as it sounds. Usually we shouldn't get out at night but I sneaked out through the window. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go to the same ex-river place I always went. Through I felt something wasn't right. I went there and started making a bird. I fell asleep at some point. When I woke up I panicked because they would've made a mess if someone saw I was gone... but when I went back everything was quiet. I sneaked back through the window and made my way to the bed. Too bad I slipped on the bloody floor un. I thought it was water at first..."

My eyes widened but he continued.

"As my almost 5 year old brain tried to process everything I heard a voice behind the door, so I hid under the bed."

 _"Didn't you hear something?"_

 _"I thought I told you no witnesses, child or not it doesn't matter."_

 _The man sighed but didn't enter the room._

 _The child tried to reach the clay bird under his pillow and did. It rolled up under his bed hugging it and crying silently. Suddenly a hand grabbed him and pulled him out of it's hiding spot._

 _"I thought I checked there... Oh well, Zura's gonna yell at me again."_

 _That was a ninja from the hidden sand, through the child didn't know or care about that. It looked at him with his teary eyes but the man seemed more bothered with the thought about Zura than the death of a simple child._

 _You could even say he was too unbothered._

 _As he was holding the child by the back of his shirt with one hand, the other pulling out a kunai, the kid slipped out of his shirt and started running toward the window it came through the first time. But just when it reached it the man pulled it back by his hair._

 _"There's no use, kid. It's ove..."_

 _The child stroke the head of the bird in his eye. The man had forgotten about his toy. He yelled but pulled the child's hair even more._

 _"You stubborn brat..."_

 _He took the bird and smashed it against the wall. The child, seeing that, stopped fighting like it used to do. It rather looked... broken?_

 _The man grabbed his throat pinning him to the wall. The air was starting to decrease but the kid didn't seem to care much. There was a sudden burst of light and both the child and his attacker were on the floor. The kid saw as men came in and took his attacker with them. It heard concerned voices talking about him but didn't seem to care, it passed out._

"...turns out the Suna unit had information on a jinchuriki they needed to take out. It was a false rumor un."

I was shocked. Sure, I expected something dark... But this?

"Oh, so the whole orphanage got massacred because of a false rumor?"

"Not everyone, I'm still here un."

He smiled a bit as he continued working on his bird.

"Besides, after that the old geezer sort of took me under his wing. I got the chance to live better and got to work with clay un."

For a moment he stopped working again and looked the eyes of the bird.

"...it's wrong un..."


End file.
